Dear Portfolio Reader,

The essay that you are about to read is a narrative essay where I highlighted my experiences of learning something of value outside of the formal education setting. The prompt of the essay called for recognizing that there is a wealth of knowledge in all our lives and many of the important lessons that we learn is not included in the traditional classroom setting.

Starting this essay was somewhat difficult for me because at first it was difficult thinking about valuable things that I learned outside of the school setting. I fist thought about the things that I learned from my family. However, these lessons felt somewhat general and couldn’t hold up an entire essay by itself. I then thought about my many hobbies. I then listed all of my ideas, on paper, ranging from the things my family taught me to my hobbies. I found my self at the opposite end of the spectrum from where I was in the beginning. I now had too many ideas of what to write. I was then faced with the challenge of narrowing my thoughts down to a specific topic. I finally decided that I would combine one thing from what I learned from my family with learning a hobby. I had to find what crossed over. I finally decided to discuss learning patience along side learning art.

Writing my essay I did not quite know where I wanted it to be heading so my first draft was turned out to be shorter than the requirement. After the peer review session in class I just started writing about my journey in learning art and nurturing it as a hobby. By doing this I fulfilled the length requirement. I felt good about my essay but after I received the instructor feedback for the second draft I saw that I did not include my learning of patience as much as I needed to.

For the revision of my final draft I looked back and forth between the instructors comments and my paper and I revised my essay. It was easy for me to fix the technical things such as grammar,  but the main problem of my essay was not the grammar. The problem outlining my essay was sticking to the theme. I then revised my essay to integrate learning patience through art as thoroughly as I could. This caused me to be mindful of the details of a prompt and making sure every paragraph and sentence was relevant.

Thank you,

Bernie Gabriel

The Art of Patience

The Art of Patience – Draft#2

The Art of Patience – Draft#1

The Art of Patience – Instructor Feedback

The Art of Patience – Peer Review Feedback


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